How far have we gone? I can't see the company or the shore.
They fled, the cowards; they fought, the tasties.
They were sacrificed by you; or sacrificed for you.
How do you become a goddess without your advocates?
How do you become a beast without the hunters or preys?
And I know I would never become a poet.
I was innocent, sacred, chased, and violated.
I was made to show the power of theirs,
I was high up there and lower into the dirt.
My face speaks victims and I can't see the look they want.
My insecurity is a fictional charm.
This is the ugliest I am.
This is the ugliest you are.
This is the most beautiful you are.
But the river goes up,
the river goes down,
the river goes nowhere.
But they are scared of my teeth, my claws, and my desires.
They hunt after me as I hunt after them.
It's a cycle of life,
they can't see me following; I can't see an escape.
We couldn't see we were one,
My fur is a fictional charm.
I only eat who eats me.
You only eat who eats you.
You only eat yourself.
But the river goes up,
the river goes down,
the river goes nowhere.
I can never see the reality out of the reality I see.
With the coldness in blood and fire burning the glacier,
the time folded and space twisted,
With people speak faith without questions and confidence without confusions,
My charm is a fictional reality.
I can see you in you.
I can see me in you.
You can never see through yourself.
But the river goes up,
the river goes down,
the river goes nowhere.
But they desire my teeth, my claws, they desire my desires.
And I was innocent, sacred, hunted and violated.
So I can only cry into a fate that I don't see it to come.
Would you love me to toll my bell?
Would you fold my hands and kiss my rose?
Would you cry from me and take me to your cave?
Would you abandon the world and would you care?
Would I stay and stand even uninvited, broken, and illegal?
Would I stand in tides and be?
But the river goes up,
the river goes down,
the river goes nowhere.
I want to dance
I want to sing
And it's painful
I can see the silver
The gold
It's nightly cold
I feel the warmth
The wrench
It's you
Bar me for my love, Bar me for my claws, Bar me for my words of love and claws.
When a boat is built to sink,
You can only see the returned.
The drown becomes the river.
The river goes everywhere.
(2019.01.20)